I often get asked why do I do what I do.
There are several reasons but my main “why” is my children and family.
I am so fortunate to be able to run my own business and spend each day doing something that I am passionate about – creating beautiful, natural products that bring joy to others. I love being my own boss, able to follow my own vision and create a life based on values that are important to me.
And yes, I have a certain amount of freedom when it comes to working around my children’s schedules, but at the same time, I shoulder a lot of responsibility to make my business a success. In the end, it’s up to me. And that brings with it a lot of mum guilt, which I felt strongly these school holidays.
I always want to make the most of the time with my girls during the holidays, while still needing to manage my business. The days go by so quickly and as I looked back over the last two weeks, I found myself feeling guilty, wondering if I did spend enough time with them over the holidays to make everything worth it.
Before I spiralled into the negative self-blame that we women are so good at, I decided to ask Little Olive what her highlights of the school holidays were. Interestingly enough, she had an awesome holiday! Her highlights were visiting family in Tauranga, going to playgrounds and for walks.
Don’t you find that we adults often overthink everything, while at the end of the day all our children want is just to hang with friends and family?
Running a business is definitely not for the faint-hearted. Seriously. In a normal week, you can go from “I got this down!” to “Why am I doing this?”. It is such a rollercoaster of emotions, of highs and lows.
But do you know what? I would not change it for a second.
I enjoy the many challenges and I’m always looking for more. Having challenges to meet gives me the extra drive to achieve something. It makes all the late nights, early mornings and trying to mix work and children and life in one bundle all worth it.
Brene Brown has spent over two decades researching emotions and she suggests that guilt can actually be a helpful emotion. It is a sign that our integrity is being challenged. It offers an opportunity to ask: are we living our lives in line with our values? And if we’re not, we have a chance to make adjustments.
So if my values are both spending quality time with my girls as well as role-modelling following my dreams and being a successful female entrepreneur, then I’m on track. I’m actually doing just fine and I can let that mum guilt go! I just need to remember that and not buy into the negative self-talk. Because that’s something that’s important to role-model to my girls too.
So if you’re a working Mama trying so hard to hold it all together every day, I want you to know that you are not alone. You’re doing good, girl! If you are living a life of integrity, actually living out your values in the nitty-gritty reality of daily life, then you’re doing really well. And it will all work out OK.